MLK Day

I yawned as I wiped the crust from my eye, patting the covers around me in search of the remote. Got it. Fell asleep watching the Golf Channel... again. Wish it was still Tiger week. I don't even know why I'm checking the guide at the local channels; I know there's no football until 3:00, and the game I really wanna see isn't until 6:30(Go Ravens!!) My eyes immediately jump to the words "Civil Rights..." and I want to see what it's about (does that mean anything?) Anyway, I began what would turn into three, one-hour t.v. segments of different aspects and heroes of the Civil Rights movement; they spanned from the mid 1960's to the early 1970's. I watched marches and speeches, beatings and brutalities, mesmerized, as I am every year, by the struggle and the strength of my people. Many of them were jailed; too many of them were killed, and, as I watched Dr. King's non-violent protests and marches, it made me angry. It's also a little mind blowing when you really put it into perspective. I mean, this was barely fifty years ago! I never really thought about the fact that my grandmother lived through it and my mother was raised in it!!
**I mean, don't we go to war with other countries when they do stuff like this to people**
Now my brain is in overdrive, plus they keep showing Barack Obama commercials, and I'm asking myself what has really changed after all this time? I mean, okay... Halle got an Oscar, Oprah is crazy rich(excuse me, wealthy,) and, yes, we are just days away from a black President, among many, many, other things, but why do I have to associate that with things being better for black people as a whole? None of that stops a cop from beating--these days it's shooting-- a black person. None of that shows changes, nor does it show proof of changes, in the mentality of the world around me. **Whenever my boyfriend was driving his Buick late at night he ALWAYS got pulled over by the police and he NEVER got a ticket! I figure, if it's happened three times when I've been in the car, it's happened when I wasn't. What a horrible thing to have to deal with, and for no reason other than the color of your skin and the kind of car you're driving. This is the world I live in**
I feel very conflicted right now, and frustrated, and powerless...and sad. How am I supposed to live in this world where we all pretend it's fair, and nobody really talks about how it's not; that's why it doesn't change--duh--How do I do my part to move change along, and can I do it by myself?? SIGH